Most adult children of toxic parents grow up feeling tremendous confusion about what love means and how it’s supposed to feel. Their parents did extremely unloving things to them in the name of love. They came to understand love as something chaotic, dramatic, confusing, and often painful—something they had to give up their own dreams and desires for. Obviously, that’s not what love is all about.
Loving behavior doesn’t grind you down, keep you off balance, or create feelings of self-hatred. Love doesn’t hurt, it feels good. Loving behavior nourishes your emotional well-being. When someone is being loving to you, you feel accepted, cared for, valued, and respected. Genuine love creates feelings of warmth, pleasure, safety, stability, and inner peace."
"I’m 33 and I still work as a bartender. To make it worse, my brother is a world renowned chemist. So when my father talks to people at weddings, he says: ‘My son just got a million dollar grant. And my daughter lives in New York.’ The thing is, I used to be such an overachiever. I skipped the last two years of high school. I got a full ride to college, but ended up dropping out. I don’t know what happened. I keep telling myself I’m saving up to go back to school, but I don’t have any savings. I don’t know, I just feel very lame all the time. Don’t make me sound too lame."
It’s remarkably easy to fail. I’ve done it a lot.
Lovely, dark, & deep.
I want you to imagine a ten year old version of yourself sitting right there on this couch. Now this is the little girl who first believed that she was fat, and ugly, and an embarrassment.
This is groundbreaking
this is my third time rebloging this today. this is so important.
I have goosebumps
because were all trying to heal the child that was broken
please don’t say “we need to talk” because I will have a panic attack right in front of your eyes
Every time my parents say this to me I have a full-fledged panic attack.